Ciels' Whiskey Lullaby
by forbiddendesires15
Summary: Sebastian has left Ciel! oh no, how will Ciel take it? what happens when the pain get to be too much? rated M for character death. songfic!


_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette._

_She broke his heart,_

"I'm sorry Ciel! I just can't do this anymore. How can you actually expect me to want to stay with someone like you? You're a child, a selfish bratty child. I'm leaving." Sebastian said, his voice hard with tension, facing the door so Ciel wouldn't see the few tears slipping down his face. Sebastian truly cared for his young master and loved him dearly but couldn't stay; if he did it would only be worse for both of them. "Sebastian... Please, don't do this; I love you Sebastian please, don't leave me!" Ciel cried his voice desperate and filled with the tears he was holding back. Sebastian braced himself; hand on the doorknob, for what he was about to say knowing it was going to be the most difficult thing he's ever had to say. "You love me? Yeah right you don't love anyone besides yourself, besides even if I believed it were true, I don't love you, not anymore, I'm leaving whether you want me too or not" Sebastian said coldly turning the knob and stepping through the door. Ciels sadness turned to intense anger and before the door closed completely Ciel yelled one last order to Sebastian "SEBASTIAN! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME, I HATE YOU. STAY AWAY FROM ME, THAT'S AN ORDER!" Sebastian froze on the door step more silent tears falling and said "yes, my lord" and closed the door walking away without ever looking back. Ciel stared at the door for a moment before falling to his knees sobbing. "Young master! Are you all right? What happened?" Mei-Rin, who had come walking in when she heard the door close, shouted, rushing over to Ciel.

_He spent his whole life tryin' to forget._

_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time._

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind._

"MEI-RIN!" Mei-Rin heard the voice of her young master echo across the mansion, calling for her. Mei-Rin opened the door to Ciels study and poked her head in, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. The curtains were all drawn tightly across the windows and the only light in the room was from a few small candles placed in various areas. "Yes, young master? Is there something you need?" Mei-Rin asked sweetly, her voice strained, knowing already what it was that the younger earl had called her for. "bring me another bottle, this one's empty already" she heard Ciel slur, holding up the empty bottle of whiskey and shaking it, around assuring her there wasn't a single drop of the amber liquid left, before quickly tossing it aside, not caring whether the bottle broke or not. Mei-Rin simply nodded "yes, young master, right away" she said quietly and quickly rushed off to the kitchen to get her masters drink. In the kitchen she ran into bard who looked at her depressingly when she reached for another bottle of whiskey from the cupboard. "It hurts to see him like this; I never knew how much Sebastian leaving affected him. He really loved him, yes he did. The poor young master, he keeps trying to drink it all away. I wonder if he's figured out by now that he'll never get Sebastian off his mind, not by drinking he won't" Mei-Rin said quietly to bard, before walking back to Ciels study to give him his drink.

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger._

_And finally drank away her memory._

_Life is short but this time it was bigger._

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees._

Ciel sat on the edge of his bed, a piece of paper clutched tightly in one hand, a gun sitting in his lap, tears falling silently down his face. He couldn't take it anymore, couldn't stand the pain of losing the only person he truly loved. Ciel took a deep breath, willing the tears to stop, and sat the paper down on the table beside his bed, smoothing out the wrinkles. Moving onto the bed and lying down on his stomach, face into the pillow, he raised the gun to his temple breathing deeply and thinking of his beloved Sebastian. Before pulling the trigger, Ciel said aloud to his empty room "I'm sorry Sebastian, I couldn't take it. Im sorry for yelling at you and I take back my last order, you may come near me if you wish, I love you Sebastian, im sorry" and squeezed the trigger.

_We found him with his face down in the pillow._

_With a note that said I'll love her till I die._

"Young master, are you awake?" Mei-Rin asked quietly, stepping through the door to her masters bedchambers to wake him for the morning. When she caught sight of the blood and the gun in her masters hand she screamed, a blood curdling scream that sent a shiver up the back of everyone who heard it. The silver tray in her hands, which had held a glass of water and some aspirin, slipped from her grasp and crashed to the floor. After a few moments she screamed for bard and finny, telling them to call the Undertaker and not to allow anyone into the manner today. Mei-Rin walked closer to the body of the boy on the bed, and noticed for the first time a piece of paper on his desk. Mei-Rin picked up the paper and looked it over, it was wrinkled and torn in places as well as having water-stained splotches that Mei-Rin could only assume were tears. As Mei-Rin read the short sentence that sat in the middle of the page, her heart broke and tears pooled in her eyes, falling down her face in torrents. The only sentence written on the page stated simply "I'll love him till I die". Mei-Rin let the paper fall from her grasp onto the bedside table and she ran from the room, sobbing. She was immensely sad but also very angry. That bastard Sebastian had caused this and she would never forgive him. When she ran into the hallway she smacked hard into someone and would have fallen back from the force of the stop if said someone had not grabbed her. Mei-Rin looked up and saw the Undertaker looking at her sorrowfully, and he softly asked her where the young lord was. Mei-Rin simply sobbed harder and pointed to her masters' room before running away.  
The Undertaker walked silently into the room with a grace only a reaper could posses and walked to Ciels bedside and gave him a sad smile. "I suppose this time you really are my patient, young lord" the Undertaker said softly, brush his nimble fingers through a lock of hair that had not been drenched in blood. Sparing a sorrowful glance at the paper, the undertaker took a moment to fold the letter neatly and put it in his pocket, determined to show that demon exactly what he had caused. The Undertaker set about cleaning and preparing Ciel to have him moved to his shop in preparation for the ceremony.

**AN: okay, I had this story bottled up in my head for so long I just had to get it out!. It's a songfic for Ciel and Sebastian. The song in Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley ft. Alison Krauss. If you haven't heard it before I suggest you check it out, it is a very sad but beautiful song in my opinion. As for this story, it will be two chapters, this one if focused on Ciel, the second chapter, with the last half of the song, will focus on Sebastian. I hope you enjoy and I will try to get the second chapter up as soon as possible.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji/Black butler nor any of its characters they belong to their rightful owner. The song does not belong to me either, that belongs to Brad Paisley**


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